Life, love and other trivial things...

"Life is what happens to you while you're working for your future - Unknown"

And so it is... As I wondered, waited and counted the days until my college tour to Hyderabad came, it had already breezed by. I was hoping for nothing other than six fun filled days. But I realized just as soon as I got back that I had gotten more than what I asked for... The six days that I was away from home felt like six months, cause I had that many experiences, six months that had gone by in six seconds, cause I was back home before I realized it. It's the best words I can use to explain my experience...
I'm sure many of us have joyous experiences in life that give us unforgettable moments, the moments that last for a long time in our memories. As casual as this trip was though, I experienced a myriad of these moments all together. It feels like, in the gap of six days, I understood love, friendship, promise, grief, commitment, laughter, prejudice, wonder and a hundred other emotions better than before. And I'm glad for myself... Glad because the one thing I hate in life is stagnancy and thankfully I've been keeping really away from it.
And anyways, I seem to have got other things on my mind...

"If I'm in love, then all is lost - Robin Williams (Bicentennial Man)"

Lost indeed... since all reasoning and common sense evades me more than usual... in this case I think maybe it was 'cause I spent every waking moment of the six days in his presence, smiling with his smile... laughing at his stupid jokes, noticing his crazy quirks and all of that. I try not to think about him, and his face just jumps in front of my eyes, and I'm thinking, "Oh hell... what have I gotten myself into." I'm convinced though that this is just a temporary crush... cause otherwise, I haven't got a chance in hell.


"Absence diminishes small loves and increases great ones, as the wind blows out the candle and blows up the bonfire. - Francois de La Rouchefoucauld"

I haven't experienced real love or anything in life... maybe come very close to it but not entirely savored it. I just wish I could say I didn't understand that sentence, because it is but one more painful verity of my life. The distance, the absence, the pain of the lost love or the hope of the true one all confuse me... as they have, ever since I lost him... Lost him? Was he mine to begin with? I wish I knew the answer. I wish I could just ask him. And I wish I could find simpler words to explain the crossroads of my life.

"If young love is just a game, I must have missed the kickoff. - Blink 182"

Like I said I haven't felt the real love... or anything positive in that direction, for that matter. I look around and see people in the comfort of each other's arms and I wonder whether soulmates and the like are just a myth. When you're a kid you believe in all of it... and somehow the older you get the lesser you believe in it, just like Santa or the tooth fairy. Under the guise of practicality you start hiding you're insecurities, until someone comes along and restores your faith in miracles and such.

I dunno what my point here is... endless ramblings and the sorts... I suppose just that life and love have a funny way of sneaking up on people... We just have to hold on and enjoy the ride cause...

"You only live once, but if you work it out right, once is about enough - Joe Lewis"