Oh! Crap, it's cupid...

"A friend in need is a friend indeed... and the one who isn't, is no friend at all?"

Past couple of weeks in my life have been, let's say, wierd for me. Reason: Time, or rather the lack of it. Not in my life but yep, everyone else seems to be keeping really busy, which feels surprisingly odd when I'm on the recieving end. Surprisingly odd and surprisingly lonely.

- It's most irritating when two of your friends, who used to be a part of the whole group and totally fun individually, get together. No jealousy, or ulterior motives here, mind you. It's purely on the basis that these people will officially be living in their own universe from then on. *sigh* Young love. It happens more than often that people who used to be cool and fun to be around, get unbearably corny when they become a couple. I've had this happen to me, twice in the last few months! Yes, I know you're out there, empathizing with me. I pity myself, really. Because it leaves you with nothing to do but bite your nails, listen to your trusty discman or talk on the phone(where you eventually end up getting the answer "I'm busy, call you back later"...) You look at the sky... search for cute faces you could smile at, try to strike a conversation when they react to you! And just when you're thinking they might actually talk to you... they find a little nice titbit that needs to be shared in private. And she giggles and he laughs out loud. And things are lovey-dovey again and everyone is happy in fairyland and yet again they have eyes only for each other, and you have to go back to listening "Leaving on a Jet Plane" for the hundredth time... wishing you actually had a jet plane, so that you could get out of there before a giant furry Teddy bear with a red bow-tie could hug you to death.

Ok, considering everything, this phase is not so bad, this I can bear you know, since they mostly do look cute together. The part that troubles me though is when things are not so smooth in their now on-now off relationship. When they fight for the most absurd reason on the planet and actually quite entirely believe that they are the only right side. This is followed by a really traumatic and rather 'filmy ishtyle' argument. And you just wanna keep to yourself, shrug a little and run out of there before you're caught in the middle of it, but you're just too nice for that. Too damn nice, so you meddle. Oh boy, oh boy, you feel like this shitty argument will never end and you feel like slapping them both into their senses, feel like saying "You should be considering yourself lucky, at least you aren't going to die alone and miserable... or as a forty year old schizophrenic!". OK, maybe a little less extreme than that, but along the same lines at least. You're talking incessantly, to knock some sense into them. She cries a little, he buries his head in his hands... and you're wanting to scratch out hair, maybe when they're bald they will listen. Oh well, you're deciding to give up... and viola! They're suddenly saying sorry and calling each other by pet names like 'shonu' & 'sweetu' *puke*.

Things are fine and dandy again... of course it's back to phase one. Damn, Where's that discman when I need it?

- Then there's the other type. Friends who are into their career or are busy with their lives and make it quiet clear that they don't want to be disturbed. The friends whose love for space will surpass all earthly bonds. This is a little serious since I donn't expect to be treated so indifferently from people I considered to be close to me. Oh well, all's fair in love, war and LIFE, I guess.

Only it's mostly irritating because people find an excuse to cut you off of from their lives. Just say "I'm kinda sorta busy" and they'll expect youto understand. And when you're trying to get in touch because you need to talk to them, they will accuse you of not giving them enough space.

I feel hurt because initially I did accuse or doubt myself of being too clingy, which is a quality I totally hate in other people. It's not something I like to see in me at all. It wasn't until quite later, when I spotted the well noted art of reverse-psycology in it, that I realized what an ass I was being by repeating to myself, what was being said to me. I realize that needing a friend is not being clingy, or selfish. It's simply asking in return what you have been faithfully giving to the friendship, since forever. Your time and patience. You've been trying to pour your soul into the friendship and when you need someone, you're expecting only naturally you will get the shoulder you deserve, to cry on or at least to rest your head on till the headache stops.

Anyways, I guess things eventually sort themselves out...they always do, don't they? After all friends are friends are friends. Whether in need or in name that is to be figured out...

In the meantime... I will definitely have to learn to spend some (much more than required)time... all by my little ol' self.

Or maybe I'll get a big furry teddy bear with a red bow-tie and name him 'Sweetu'.

Author's Note: This post was written under extreme tension and frustration and the author does not mean to cause offence to couples in love who might show the above symptoms or to busy people. At least not cause offence purposely. Aw heck it's written, all of it, purposely! Go ahead. Shoot me.